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Its Only Life - Kate Voegele
Friday, April 25, 2008
limits

i have always wonder tho
thats why i have been doing all my life
maybe i was raised up in a different environment
maybe my parents emphasized self control and limitations too much on me that i tend to be a control freak at times
but as i grew up and experience were put to place
i were able to control my self control strength on people and on myself
which enable me to hide my high expectations for myself and not allowing people to see my capability as much as my weakness so if i were to fall back, it would be only known to myself
i have always been afraid of humiliation so i had myself educated with random and all other information to keep myself updated and on the go.
and everything is supposed to be done to a certain limit and at the right time
but why do others do not do that
the whole reason i do all this is to avoid miscommunication and also being comfortable
but why others do not do that

DEEDS
1)like the 'sesuka hatinya' usage of my belongings and not asking/inform
2)like the 'sesuka hatinya' updating of a certain girl of her lovelife to my boyfriend
3)like the 'sesuka hatinya' being nice when you're out of money or fags
4)like the 'sesuka hatinya' making me the potential spare tyre
5)like the 'sesuka hatinya' forget you mistakes when you call yourself a bestfriend, instead fuck me up of your mistakes

REASONS
1)asking for permission is being polite and showing respect to my belonging and informing would be the least because at least i will know which of my item u use most so i wont use it as much so you could use it and i know where it had been-- whatever it is, still its mine so just ask/inform.
2)since the whole group was making a 'ooo-aa' bout it regardless of my opinion and what i might think bout it, now i would like to pour my 10 percent of insecurities. i do not mind the friendship you both have since your school days but with the rumors, i was expecting it to tone down a bit rather than it step a notch. Like asking to borrow money instead of the own boyfriend and also like updating on him whenever my boyfriend called about school. I do not mind but it irate me badly when i see the ticks of a process of a blooming something something. Do not get me wrong here, but i believe you should have a limit and note it yourself instead of someone else before i would start being the all time star typical girlfriend. 
thank you.
3)Ohkae.i never mind and I am not selfish. and everybody knows that i am never short of fags and i never asked from others unless i rather run out and that is if i forgot to buy or i had no time to go buy.So....But thinking everyone asked for it, at least once in a while, you would have something i am b;lowing right..But overall,i never mind, because i believe this situation needs a self reflection course. none taken.
4)this shall not be disclosed nor elaborated...still i have/had enough experience of 'more than friends and less than lovers' situation. BULLSHIT!
5)And this..eEveryone knows...again too many experience..both i would still highlight it till death do us apart..Not taking grudges just i think you both are being childish.PHWEET! and im sure if one of the girlfriend got excess to this blg, shell go back to the drawing board and start typing but she did not realized the reason the friendship ended was because of her..sos top pointing fingers alright.



im not angry..do not get me wrong
its just that all this situation needs a limit to its auto reaction
and to me, aut means thinking before you react
not say it just because you know what it means and do no know how it should be
im not eccentric
and i do not do extreme self control
i just am sure and know of my limits

:)so in a way im encountered and responsibile for my reactions and i do not bother anyone around me ..at all!


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