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inflewonce is an infection
visual text emotions of a queen b.
QUEEN B

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Its Only Life - Kate Voegele
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
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i woke up feelin okae
i knew it aint my day
i went to werk grumblin in pain
i was sleepy and not in vain
i look terrible wif makeup on
i tried d mask bt it seems wrong
i served coffee wif bitter non sweet
even sugar was too hard to kill
i blewed myself up wif food and drink
banaa milkshake,passiofruit orange,iced tea n pepsi in deep
a chickensandwich,sharkueyteow and nuggets 6 piece
im waiting to vomit wif tears seeped

i sat at werk listenin
i farted at syla and kat
dn i sat dwn and cried
dey strted laughyn
den i said.."sheena stop it..yu cry for ward!forget it!"
and slapped myself
dey stopped laughyn and i was still sobbin hard
i went hme tynkyn in d cab
i wanted to pierced my ears to haf a new layer
dats ward i awlays do to forgot tyngs and dun drink d stale spilled milkl
i tynk of the tyngs
i tynk of d anger
i went hme to flipped d scrapbook i gt for my 19th berthday wif 19th pages
wif yellow tape all over
and blank pages whch he tot used up
dn i rmebred d one i gaf him 19 pages wif 19 pics in a black book wif d ribbon i had frm him b4
and search fer our engrave rings
and rmbered dose tymes our previs 2 rings went in d toilet
dn i rmbered d tyme were back countless times
d last one where his down on his knees sayin

"will yu be mine again?"

its all cumin back to me now
andi rmbred..
all dose it was me who decides
my effort
it wasnt wasted
cz i do
i need to settle down
mb itll be his turn
maybe nt
i dun blame him fer screwin me up
but he noes ward i want
and maybe he dun bother animore.......


im crumblin to pieces
and cryin hard
duna sk me why
why d tears caame hard
im hearyn his voices
i see our hands
i see d faces
i see our plans


who erased all dat?
whos gna strt drawin
i keep drawing and erasing
maybe i need him to strt using a pen to etched
mybe he wont....

maybe i wasnt one of his
maybe i thrown away for good
maybe im a nuisance
maybe he found anew

again i put down my ego
again i threw away my dignity
again i dun call myself strong
again i erase indepndence
yet he didnt noe....



dun strt askin me why
strt tellin me why
cz i dunoe why

"each time wen were alone
i gess i didnt noe
i tot we were apart
shuld ahf spoken to my heart"

-e17 each time
dun sing it to me
say it read d lyrics dn tell me

and im supose to hide all dis
i was hidiing all dis
supposed to fall and trip wif anther
suposed to hide
hide


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