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Its Only Life - Kate Voegele
Monday, March 20, 2006

aint feelin me coz yu dun noe my name

today was okae
i woke up feelin ultra fucke dup
i dunoe tho
so went to skool
go print and suang2 said end class at 3
bloody hell
dn show her my werk
and she went...
no chnges
yur grid system bad
go ask eugene to help..
am i dat bad...
really bad..
watver she say like dat
bryngs me dwn really down dat moment..
and d whole day
being d positive shit i am
i try nt to tynk bout it and jsu get hyper to forget tyngs
shes been on my back dis sem tho
reallly on my back...
las week say fine
dis week say wrng
nesx week say ward?
FAIL..
nvrmd
i noe im bad
imw astyng my parents money in an art skool..
its jus keep demerolising me again and again
evn tho ive been tryn hard and depth fer watevr shit
well maybe nt good neuf bt it really drives me to the edge where killin myself is always an option
i dun like tynkyn dat wae
d reason im positif cz i always haf an option of ending my life...
its nt good to cry all d tyme
i dun like it and im keepin d tears back as deep as [posible
d anger breaking it into pieces and burnin it liek ashes..
its as if im puting myself in dis deeeep deeep shit...
nwaes we wnt to ricky hus
enjoyed hw i gt d trip to parkwae and watchynd maid wif me screamin my hearts out at rickys place
dn we walked to skool mostly brisk walkin wif chun doin d hindustan dance wif eugene
of alld crazy tyngs we do
and of all d smiles i put and d hyper shit..
i jus wanan be positif cz i dun like wen im down...
i dun like it at all......
nw im tired and ive gt werk to do...
ive gt extra werk to do....
ive been holdin back my tears and i kept sobing wen im smiling....

ive been hafyn dreams of the tyngs ive yearn
ive been dreamin of tynsg dat i noe i culdnt haf
maybe me or even.....
ive been tynkyn dat dreams do becum reality
ive been dreamin of d tyngs dat make me flew before
and every tyme i wake up...
its never seem right........


sayang sparkles been crying
i wish im like her...
cz i hafnt been combin her hair
and she felt extremely alone...
well sayang sparkles....
im also alone..
so deal wif me..............


im smiling cz it made me feel better evry secnd....
n dis is no joke..
its true hw im really immuned to bullshit..
im a dead corpse and im failin and deteriorating every secnd i raise my finger..
cz it hurts to be alive........


and pls pls pls...dun ask me why......


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