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visual text emotions of a queen b.
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Friday, August 05, 2005

MISSING YU

i dunoe why but ive been missin my bf deep
tho i jus met him yesterdae..
i dunoe why
were too busy wif our skool and life...
hes busy wif his skool activities...
commitment to dikir,skool dikir,thetre and skool and frens..
i keep wnderin hw d hell he had d tyme to actually gif me full attention
der are tytmes dat ithurts wenever i tynk bout all dis and d easyw ae out wif results wuld to end dis relationship
but....
hw cn i wen i lurve him soo much
hw cn i wen i tynk bout him 24/7?
hw cn i wen i miss him evrydae even tho w emet?
hw cn i wen i long fer his kiss touch and warmth plus affection all d tyme?
hw cn i wen he and i noes each other best?
hw cn i wen i cry evry dae of hw badly i need him evry single secnd?
i keep remindin myself..
"sheena..d fact yu tynkin dat cz yur too busy too...yu want him to only fer yerslf..yu feel dat its tyme fe ryu to get selfish..after dat bytch fuck him....(sriusly..i haf 23 gerls in his life dat i will nvr ever forgive!trust me..ill let yu rot wen yu die.....I SWEAR TO GOD I WNT EVER FORGIVE YU GUYS FER EFUCKIN MY BF,FER PLAYIN WIF MY BFS FEELINGS AND FER MY BF TO CHEAT ON ME!!)...."
i dun wanan tynk of dat...
i wont k sayang
i wont..
i jkuz feel soooooooo damn insecure..
iwish i wnt be busy wif my 2nd yer..
i wish i end at 4 too so uii cn see yu
i wish yu wnt be soo tired evry nyte so we wntjhaf slow movin cnversations
plus topik searching cnversation
hw i wish our love is as heart warmin evrydae...
hw i wish yur mien fer keep wif securities...
ihw iw sh i wnt cry evrydnyte typin dis and tynkin....
i dunoe...
i duneo whtehr evryone or een pepl hears me
retaliate to hw deep my lurve fe rmy bf..
hw i actualli lurve him soooooooooo much
hw i cn haf my freeedom wif him
hw evrytyng wuld jus be easy...
god wards wrng wif me?
wif all dis happenin and blatant cnversation and less meetups....
i keep tynkyn of hig chances dat hell cheat on me...
again.....
wen he flair at d fact wher ei keep askin yu cheatyn on me..
where i always juz changed my attitude in a split secnd askin yu cheatyn on me
hw he get pissed wnvr is ay hes gifin me leser affection
hw i cn see d real lite dat hes nt..
dat hes alll d wa eout
dat he suffers liek i do...
like he puts in more weffort dn i do...
kocokman says he does...
are yu yah?
do yu noe hw much i lurve yu.....
mb i shudl stop askin him all dis questions..
mb i shuld be busy..
mb i shudl jus let himr ot one dae...and lket hims ee..
but i dun do dat fer mylurved ones..
i dun haf d hjeart to do dat..
i tend to hurt myself more dn others..
i juz lurve mybf...
GOD!
hw lurvin a person cn hurts soooooooooooooo bad....
gosh..i need help...sriusl;y i jsu need help!


(yah sayang...pls...pls...pls....dun get tired...pls dun letme whin and bug yu alld tyme..yah pls............)
and dats d reason why i dun let sum gerls msg my bf..engaged a clkose relationship wif mybf..tho frens i dun allow..coz hes nt close wif me...were settlyn issues....isssues of trust..affection attention..and der yua re msgin my bf wen yur bored?wantyn his attention and a trust also/tho as frens?hello...HE HAFTA WERK ON ME FERST!i dun hate yu.....i juz hope yull understand sincde yu noe my blgo and reads it....pls....yu noe hw much i lurve him...jsu let him werk tyngs out wi fme ferst...jsu dun get clsoe wi fhim...sumhw i beg yu...juz dun let me be d old sheena again an dhunt yu infrnt of yur skool..im capable of doin dat..trust me....haiz......................................................................
hw i wish i cn have him to myself.....and i miss d late nytes talk badly.............


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