ma future as a grafik designer...goes dwnhill....

ergh...woke up super earlie...gat go to skool skipped matts class to do ma portfolio..and came and d 2 coms with adobe an dfreehand burst..farked up!!!tanx....ive got enuff badluck upon me to test ma freakin patience fer ma future grafik design portfolio..fuck!!!i hate it lah....

ysterdae went hme late after meetyn ma darlyn yah at sengkang..freKING long...went to gwc..meet up hubby and ma irritatyn ex..he changed tho...very attentive..nt as bluir as las tyme...keep up old darl fendi...dats d ferts steop towards die ing later....niwae watveer...chat wif daddiey and ela an dgigo..miss dem so much..came and hubby wt "eh sorie hafnt answer yur msg..i didnt opae ma bills"..and i wmt.."nvrmd....save money ward..."and he wnt"dats sarcastyc,...okae..."...precisely..dun gif me stupid reasons cz i dun tend to one...nwiaes..de wnt dwn sengakng afrer actuali takin ma own very sweetest tyme dwn sengkang...den ma yah styll hafnt finish..freakin..i hate his tyngs tho...niwae den was lepaksin ins engkang library..iw as soo nt in dmood..i was ultimately pissed and d end wbnt dwn to meet ma yah at starbucsk..he had hymself takin a cab to reach dwn sngkang...while goin dwn d esclator..saw dis nyjc gerl...didnt bother untyl she actuali turn to look at me twice wnt goin dwn the escalator...i was behynd hr..she had dis look at me as if..eh i noe yu..yu dgerl dat dae look...and i had dis look staryn at her and a look dat goes"gerl,,,do yu tynk i noe yu?do yu tynk i even bother to noe yu back?well i dun"..and she liek turn awae with puzzle dlook...den she was wif dis guy...and she hurriedly walked d other wae wen d guy kinda pulled her to walk d other wae..i dun bther..so i walk wher i shuld...yu tynk ibother wif sumone who tynks SHE OWN MA OWN BF AN DFREAKIN TELL MA BF DAT SHES JELES DAT HE DUN GIF HER ATTENTION INSTEAD TO OTHER GERLS WHCH IS A FREN?HEL:LLO!!EARTH TO YU GERLL!!IM NT MAKIN A BIG FUSS OVER HYM TALKIN TO YU MSGYN YU AND GOIN OUT WIF YU WHILE UI WAS OVERSEAS!!!watver.....den meet yah..and we chiled..missed hyms oo much tho..ha dfun chattyn by 7 eelven..but i styllmiss hym soo...d dae soend wasnt enuf to pae ma 4 daes away fm hym..den wnt bck hme ina cab,...had droppe dhym atg hys place and wnt hme..daddie kold and wen i reched hme at 10..eh wa sfrekin angry and blabbin and stuffs...stupid idiotyc freak...yu get pissed off juz becoz yu gt no game to make yurself entertauion...stupdi daddie y who juz dun understand...where do yu put yur brains?in a safety box???and yu lost d key??dats hwy yu tynkin liek an idiot in ma lyfe???!!!i wa spissed..wif ma camera and preparyn maart portfolio...raz was online...iw as complainin to hym bout me rushyn fer ma portfolio....d end wnt to sleep..yah was soun asleep..he was dead beat....hes alwaysdead beat wen he meets me....dats why...hmph.i was too..heeheh.

wnt to skool..raz msged me bout d portfolio tyngey..and he came to d library..we exchanged freakin idead bout d stupid portfoloi and he wnt off...den i wnt to clas..and i printed a total of 24 pages and 10 blank pages on embossed papers whch copst me a freakin 34 bucks..fuckl ah!!den gta bought 2 files an di spent liek 41 bucks..ergggh!!!den wnt to critical clas...and wnt to intyerview..b4 dat was in art fuck and d stupid starbucks guyw as der....he was a wee bit rude butr hey..id un bther..iw as payin fer stuffs an dh ejuz hapily put on toip of d counter infrnt of me...watever..den i wnt off..i wore liek extremely formal..and i look fuy an dfeel funny..tn used to wearyn formal..hahah den i wnt fer d interview..hate it...ma images were blur..i cnt help it if im brought with loadsa bad luck..stupdi camerra..stupdi computers..hw d hell am i gan make a nyce one portfolio with nbtr images wen i cant ahf ma stuffs...dey had liek sayin dat dey need btr tynsg ans execution id ids indsutry and shit..ergh..i hate maself...i was complainint o evryone who kol me..my yah,herne and raz(he kold me afte rma interview to asked..wi as shoutyn and he wnt chilled lahhh!!)...im soo deprerssed...elsie abnd ration had a clearview whch makes dem hapie to noe dat deyll gladly get trui..i neo hern too..and evryones talkin hw good deirinetviwew wnt..and i feel sooos ad...dey talkin in 100 ansd i tynk im oen of d rejhects..i feel soos ad..io noe..i neo ma werk...btu ive been doin all dis logos and posters and deisgny since i was sec3..i do all dis cz i lurve designyn ma own shit..i dun like to be d same..dats why ma werk is less simple den d others...haiz....plslah..ialways tries very very very very very hard to be diffrnt....ive gt am own tyng...ive alway swant to do sumtyn usyn am own tyng...haiz...i noe ma execution wise alwyas cock up but i always try hards...i haf troubles wif m ahands..btu others wise..i can..ergh!i hate it...i tld ma yah..ifeel like breakind wn..ratioan dyah asked me to do again..rationw ilborow me ehr cam an dyah will helo me in other waes..but i feel soo demoralized..i feel soo dwn..i dun feel liek goin toskool nimore..id un tynk im even dat talented to be ind arts kool...i dun tynk im even artystyc and cretyve..di un tynk ima ll dat..i tynk im d loser enrteryn d skool...ihate it.......i hate nt getyn sumtyn iw ant.....and i dun lie ti.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................