d daes b4 dis dae...

k..well strt wif...

thursdae 30th decemebr 2004...
its ma off day..so i followe dmumie got o yishun..fought wi fher bout ma clthes...and oh ya..its fendis ferst day at werk..hahah...niwae bck to me...iw asnt feelin well tho..d dae b4 had srius coigh and werk late...den went to yishun ammumy was styll fuckin lecturin me on am cltehs..coz its short can see ma tummy and i wore a jcket and she says its styll short...i always juz keep quiet bt i was soo nt in d mood an di had ma puvberty dat adae an dit was fuckin annoyin dwn dder...den ma makcik was being so sarcastyc and lame bout me and stuffs..so i anwered evry werd she said and uwen i was tire di was beingr ude to her na dwent okae okae and oka.e..stoopid arse..she tld ma mum dun let me skool high2 waste money let me work...wahalu..she tynk ward..im nt as stupid as her daughter okae...she lives in d oldioes days and stylllivin it..she make her daught stop skoolin at p6..werk like crazie tyll now.,..nw hairdresser an dgot marrie dat age of 21..shes a loser coz yu make ehr one..STOOPID!!same goes to her son..bodh!niwaes den stayed der..i slept der..iw as hafynd killer cough and was sick and hafymn a mild fever...den slept and ma mumy woke me up to eat....den sleep again...hahah tyll its 7 lik dat..den ma 2 brops came wif theri wives...we went off at 8 plus at rch at 9.30...den pack and m abro drop me at interchaneg zo im meetyn ruzaini and aizat...we chille dand i wa ssick and i smoke.,..haha its abte...den reach ma bros hus wif ruzaini..hahahah cz i ask hym to folow me lor...hes a bas3rd a big one and he noes why..den i walk frm sengkang to puingol wif dat idiot and i walk to ma bros hus alone..tank hym tho..altho i critioceised..i say tanx..hahah den sleptya t ma bro hus,...ma bros wive anak sdare wa sder..and she was jumpin on me wen she saw me..hahah so i chilled and took sum vitamin c cz d cough cme bck and ate oanadols...den i gta layn d kids and we went playground at 10 plus den we went for supper walk aroun reach hme at 12 plus..den we slpeta t 2...iw as tired en cudlnt sleep woke up and kold herne..den went tpo sleep at 4..whoosh..tired...

friday 31st decemebr 2004
palnned to go zouk wif bro den he says he gt no mmod so i cam eup wif a plan wif abd...we tot of taunt at ecp...okae we planned and stuffs....den he tld me..i meet ruzani ,chal and ihsan and fik ferst..hell cum later...at 12..im lik wadafuck?coz at d same tyme..coincidentaly...ma werk frens wer ekolin me up to join dem i say oka eill join dem fer awhile dne im eet ma fdrens lah..den abd cn fancy tell me ehll cuma t 12 and i meet dem earlier..den i say if liek dat....all meet at 12 lah..so i cn meet ma werk frens fer awhile..den eh say no nop.yu all meet derst dne im like aard sia..dne i finnaly agreed..oake..den ma bro...came ina nd say he sgoin otu mb zouk..oka elor..i felt bad..i slept at hys hus an dim nt goin otu wi fhym..so i tld abd i gta cancelled...fik goin zouk so i chal and ruzaini go lor..den abd was pissed..den abd sae good lah...den nxt tyem dun like sop clever cum upw if plans if yru nt sure bout yurs..den i ajak hym alng he says no money no talk..iw as being sooo patient and wa stellyn hym nicely i was sayin sporie liek sum indonesian maid...sum dog excpt dogs duns ay sorie..inoe its ma fault bt its nt dat bigie..den eh was fucked up..den he scold me upside dwn den iw as like...AAAAAAAAAAARGH!...den i culdnt take it..i was sayin im fuckin sorie and yur scoldin em like d werl si s ovber....and im so mad at hym i todl hym im lazy of yru atirud ear..,i gta follow yu...i mena pka eof he dun wann go clubbyn den??he sproblem ah...he dune xpect me to follow hym ryte?im nt payin fer ruzaini..and im nt payin fer hym cz im short oif money..i borowed ma mumsies fe rgoodness sake!gosh!dun atke me fer granted....den i was spoo pissed i scolded hym i say yalah is toopid i liek cleevr make [lans all em ward..goopsar..yu cleve ryus tarr yu biggie ward...den he went pala buto ah wif yur stuffs and al..if yur lazy about me den i lazy to be frens wif yu nimore..4get it...im tired..fuck!hes been tellin me hw im beingc hildish hw im soo bycthh yhw im awlays makin mistakes..im tryin to mak amself abtr persona gain and again.btu he noe sdat i changed?no..he styllc na criticised me say im cleevr onlie wann dos tuiffs...do all a newbie..laugha t alld tynsg im doing..i nioe yru much superior to d outsyde werld..but yru ma bestfren yu dun snicker atme...ass!gosh!argh,,he wnats me tpo go ward?follow he evry werd and tyng?he realized he sattiude?he relaize he aksyens?he relaize dhw he always wants it hys wae?and eh gte pisse doff wen peple dun lsioten//.expecially me?he realizes dat ima lways sayins orie wen we fite/....ima lways raisin d wite flag even its is hys fault?gosh1!!I SAID SORIE FE RM AATTITUDE NA DHE DUNT!@WARD A TYCK SKINNED HUMAN!ARRRRRRRRRGH...IM SOO PISEED...i feel soo sad..hw can ma bestfren do dis to me..hw can ma bestfren is awlays bryngyn me dwn...i dunt ynk ic n trust anyone...well c.p...im gna sae sumtyn frm amheart.,,yu didnt liek hw im close wif abd...cz i use to hate hym..hw i close to chal an dnad....i bcame frsn wif dem fer a reason w/o yu askin me fer it..yu left like dat..and now..yus hudl be hapie abds doin d sma etyng..ill tell yu wen nadia dos d same tyn and chal...one by one....go leave..go...i became frens wif dem fer a reason and cz dey need me....and im derr as a feren...amnd dey do dis to me?yu guys do dis shit to me!??!!arggggggggggh..PUT DAT IN MYND C>P....
den i got no mood to go zouk..den tld fik nt goin...so i wann chill..den sheila kold she also no mod to go clubbyn..den tld m abro he also said okae dne go pub at fareast so i wen to tochill wif ruzani an dchal..met ruzani at compass point...den meet chal at palza sing...ajak nad say wantbt culdnt..den haitior canta nd nazri culdnt./.so d 3 of us weent to fish and co glasshus...we went fish an d co...cz dis 2 guys dun heed ma advice...hhaha we ate a whoopin 115 na dits was soo nice...heheh ruzani ferst tyme an dchal also liek and me...ma fersta fetr d last was wif wandi..hahah nex i soo wanan eat pastamania..haahahh den go town...we
went to cineleisure to see chals fren,sara bee to model her hair tyngy...she spweety..realie pweety..den went to paragon cz ruzani wanan berak..hah gosh very dlong..and i and chal took photos cz d toilet lobby us purple in kaler..haha i was a superb model..ahah ayte...den wanna go quik shop den buy raihans beg..ruzani bro den d shop closed..so we wnt to meet sheila,dan and taufik d mule...hah den reach mccfae shaw wanan met herne bt she sat fareast...den see stam, parkway beanie..hahah ehe sfunny he was flirtyn widf me and hseila cz we were..hahah ayte..it as jokin flirtyn aytes..yu guys wuldnt noe..ahhabytch..nwiae den saw amin..haha mmmmmmiin....amin.hahah okae mata rif..bt he gt nice smile..hewas oake...dwanst surprised to see me..den chat wif hym eh said sprie ffer gifin wandi ma no...haha den was chillin der..gosh..i was soo hapie..haha i laugh and shout liek crazie..hehe i miss heila so we weer ebytchyna dn xchatyn and yu neo us..hahah den bella came wif d mom den she afetyr dat meet rian and eddie..weeee..rian..miss her..den nvr meet her...den siti came...den we wnt off to wann go esplanade...den wen we go off...blink 182 wa son air...d song amin lurve sto play.wahhhhhhhhhhahah den go to meet bro at fareats kold mumie and stuffs...den he gaf me money and we went to eaplanade....den skali esplanade jam packed..den we walked and walked till we reach at millenia walk..we were celebratyn new yer at marina..hahah den chilla t bka t millenia walk all blame siti..haha den we chilled den tyll 1plus we decided to go beach rd..den chala nd siti went bck..den kodl cab..den sheila nd dan and muel tookd cabd..den i gta wait fer d cab tyll3...frm2..gsh ma stomach hurts..i was hodlin on to ruzainis shudler cz ma stomach hurts lkiek crazie...den w egta cab afetr walkin and kolin umpteen tymes...den we recAH PLAY POOL..DEN SAW HAIDA..HAH SHE SAW ME FERST SHE SAID IVE CHANEGD..HAHAH WEE..SHE ALSO I SOO LURVE HE RSTYLE..TOLD HE RDAT..HEHEH DEN went off at 4..i won pool game wif sheila..oh ya..m atoyboy msg med tyll 4 in dm ornyn..he was scoldyn me fer ms mokin too much and getynhig..hand he was temnin me tyll nyte..hahah den i and ruzani wen tbck..sent hym ferst...had a cnversation wif hym ind cab..hope sutn i said make hym open hys eyes....den toyboy battery went dead an di reache dhme at 5...den mme and ma bro and d woives wa watchy tv..we slept at almost 6....niwae hapie new yer...

1st januari 2005,saturday...
woke up at 2..hahah d whoel hus woek up at 2..den ma bro wive eavacujum d hus...wif me and mab ro lkazin around..we ate kfc fer lunch and breakfast..ma bro found out i was smokin..ahah he klept quiet..den we we chileld till 5...den eh snt me hme and nw hme bloggin..chatyn wif sheila nd a eff,and faia nd fendie...fendie poised me sum questions..ahahh jzu liek ruzain also poison questions to me.....well peple...figure tyngs out...hahah...den im fyne now..tynkyn bout abd..gosh..im losin ma bestfrens no one noes hw i m feel;in i mae be smilin coz nah..i dun wann gain symptahy..iv eben ahndlin amlfe well nwadaes..had a few secrets ion me and keepin dem..sum noe ssum actuli doesntnoes....well..ma lurve life to.....its abig question mrk....niwa edun tynk i gt aguy....im tired of searchyn one and nw its yur guys turn to search for me...

wel...im sick now..btu ic ant wait fer d skool to pen...weeeeeeeee..hhhah niwae akeys..miss ya also...gif me akol or se yu on line...got abiggie..ahahah niwae imsoo gna miss heil;a..well im gan werk nex week..wee...ma toybpys nbeens aksinm wne im gan werk niwae..hahah..well gta go eat..hyaf sum picsies...adios....

well....i styll nee dyu to realize..i wnt stop writin alld is here tyl; yu actuali realzi em...i dun need yu to react to evrytyng but juz noticed ma deeds..id un mynd if yur blind..but duyde..treasure wra dyu ahf open yur eyes and see..see yru feeling swhtehr ist trrue or not...dun go against evrytyn i gta sae...see boy...i nee dyu to notioce an drealize me....im nt hopin..dun assume tynsg botu me...but yur nt hapie wif ward yu ahf and i nknew it..dats all i gat sae.........im nt aghst..i gta life....