2004-07-13 - 7:40 p.m.
duyde...well heres d new thyng of myne..i wont update it lyke evrydae but hey..ill keep up d thyngs dayt i shuld tell in here ayte?niwae...dis diary helps me not to tynk bout other stuffs wen im in d net..mostly wen im depresed dat wen yu can ce me onlyne..i rarely go in d net wen im hapie..okae..nowadaes,tryin to keep up wif school work..mayn!!tot art skool waz ez but its waee waee tooo relaz dayt yu 4got dayt yu actualie haf tons of hws in between d tyme..duyde in a week in got lyke 6 assignments in ma 1st week of skool!!aargh!!now suppose to fyn up ma hw due tomorow bu tim nt in d mood...very d lazie..heheheh well...juz no wmornyn see d cute starbucks guy..ohmagawd!!he sat lyek bside me ..hahahahah..niwae it didnt make ma day..ok...im hapie dayt im blessed wif a guy who actuallie tynk dayt im d one for hym and hes treatyn me lyek im hys EVERYTHYNG!!ive nvr felt dis b4 even wif ruzaini.iswandis lyke d bestest guy ever..altho thyngs make difficult for dis relationship to go on smoothly..he live in d northa nd i lives at east..we only get to see lyke one day per week and 8 hrs per day..sigh!!sumtymes..i tynk whther i shuld juz gif up but its bad..i realllie need to be patient..it may not be a factor but juz an obstacle to overcume..ma ex ruzaini..has been rather irritatyn and very offensyve lately...sumtymes i reali wonder y i WAZ wif hym for a ridiculus 3 yers!!but i juz suspect d intymate relationship he had wif HER.hes lyke wae2 close extreme close dayt now i realize d intymate realtionshyp happen wen i waz wif dayt loser!!y didnt i notice???!!AARGhh!!sheena ur dumb!!niwae i see all d thyngs he do to dis HER which he didnt do it 2 me b4...CARE waz d thyng dayt he lack...and it waz d tyng dat im thyrsty for..it juz wonders and stunned me dayt i manage to haf 2 different guys in ma lyfe..a definyte big change waz soo takyn place dayt i feel sooo sooo sooo good!!but..now d sadnes is takyn over me..and it hyt hard..d feelyn waznt of jelousy and regret its juz d break lead to questyons duryn ma ending relationship wif dayt egoistical boy w/o answers and im damnshyt feelyn lyke a BIMBO!!ward ana and c.p sae its ryte..i treat bth guys 2 ifferent waes and i actualy bcame a diff person..more open but emotional..which i dun wan to be..ana n cp cant beleive dayt im actualie hafyn sum1 totalie out of ma league..and im styll daym flabbergasted by it..d feelyn is wae wae too strong dayt i noe i actuallie reali realie lyek iswandi and wuldnt wanna loose me..but dats bad of me to tynk dayt wae..i noe ma job hafnt fynish takyn care of ruyzaini..sumtymes i tynk y shuld i..he got HER to look afte rhymm..she nmoes hym far far more beter den me ryte??niwae i dunnoe mb i noe hys dirty secrets dats y i shudl care for hym but hys reluctancy in gifyn wae and tryn to make tyngs actuallie happen is wae wae makyn me hayte hym to d max!!c.p tell me to juz care for hyma s a fren lyke i use to..even ahmad say dayt..but he dun treta me as afren..he more feel rather to tell everythyng and anythyng to HER den me..y shuld i care..duyde i got a NEW GUY to care MORE who CARE and TREASURE me MORE!!!niwae..i gota tynk..tynk..tynk and tyhnkk.......mb d hw pilyng up will help me recover...i waz enjoyin ma changes untyl i found out ruzaini actualie wanted a patch but he changed hys myn wen he saw ma pic wif iswandi...and he kold me to say dayt he got a gerl whom he lyke which he tot wuldnt happen..welll...hw vague is hys story!!niwae...i hope ill do sumtyn bout dis shity stuffs...d journey to skool and bck make me tynk thangs...n i hate it!!well...onlie one tyng...i sooo sooo sooo enjoy ma current lyfe ryte now..