2004-07-25 - 11:08 a.m.
"i hate dat shes in lurve..but it took a while for her to get over d hurt..now i noe dat i messed up..i waz tryin to gif us tyme but i see she took dat tyme to fynd sumbody else..ward hapened to d thyngs she feel for me..ami i reali a part of d past..i showed her..i let ma pride take me..far away from d onli women i lurve...i showed her..now she has found sum1 new..and he rlyfe will go on and im alone...but i showed her...."
well...dat song has been playin in ma troat and in ma mynd...im not regrettyn d break up...its jus dat i flabbergasted dat dis actuali waz ward it actuali happened...i tink ruzaini mus haf tot d brekyn up waz another of our takyn tyme away from each other so he tynks dat ill go back as usual...but...he waz wrong...i dun noe whther im wrong but hey...i dun get fined for ward i tot its d best for both of us...if its meant to be...none of dis wuld happen...i wuldnt be workyn ma ass off and get maself into loads of complicated situasyens if he were to always meet me instead of me travellyn ma sweat of maself from work from 6.30 till 8 at nyte juz to see hym and he didnt even haf d fuckyn ryte mind to fuckyn spent quality tyme wif me and gif me some fuckyn attention...but instead he spent hys damn fuckyn ryte mynd pplaying daymn fuckyn stupid scrabble wif dat daym fuckyn HER whom i respect ma hearts out anbd she tot dat spendyn a week wif ma bf is fyne...is she fuckyng out of her mind!!...phew!!dat was out!!i feel lil beter...now she can spent her fucckyn big ass poking into hys lyfe coz im glad im not related to dem nimore...i doo haf a choice to either get back together a s frens or jd silent treatmnet which works best..but being frens wif hym is useless..i tot we culd lyke at leatrs be close lyke reali reali cv=bestfrens since we knew each other sooo daymn well but i waz wrong...in hys eyes i waz juz hys 3 yers gf who he realli tresued but not cherished...wen we bcame frens,im jus a fren i culdnt be hys bestest fren coz even as hys gf,he wuldnt and culdnt open up wif me coz he prefer dat teacher..duyde...i waz jus a plush toy bside hym...i waz for punch and terased wif and im lyke a punch card for hym to report wherever he goes...but her...shes d evrythyng whom he has to look after her heart and spent quality tyme wwif...woooohooo!!..niwae its all over...im different im new...niwae lyfe wif iswandis been complicated..he has dis aatitude lyke ruzaini..wen he want sumtyn he relai want it...hell pissed at anytg which gets in hys way...even hys gf hell juz turn he off..he has been hafyn dis fuckup atitude for lyke weeks...he say its d tyme were he wants top be alone..and im waz telllyn hym oif yu gonna folow dat fuckup atitude and tynk about urself where yu need the tyme to be urself aand neglect me....yu can jolly well continue dat atitude and yu dun haf to see me ever again coz i tynk ie waste dma tears for yur daymn fuckup atiotude...hw can i not get pisse dwen i came all d way from skool and take a cab to meet hyma t werk...and he dun even pay me a damn fuckup attention and wasnt even eager to see me as if im d b=next girl hes wif...lyke...oh ya..sheena...wadda fuck!!he even changed hys daymn wallpaper and fite fault wif me wen i changed hys wallpaper..he waz scoldyn me duryn hys break..i got soo fuckuo angry and i jus kept quiet for d whole tyme!!waste 30 mins i can go back home and sleep yu motherfucker sonofabotch!!ARRRARRRRARGHHHHH!!(sorrie c.p if yur readyn dis...its too explicit to handle yu can stop readyn...lil pised:P)welll hwe setlle our stuffs i told hym for dis point of tyme im too stressed up wif ma lyfe..i need hym and i told hym if he goes on..i dun tynk dis ll will work...ill juz tynk lyke hys ex and broke off dis reltionship...he cooled off but i waz styll fuckup angry..i wen t to praya nd cooled of maself he kole dback and saidfd sorie and say dat he wont do it again...i didnt let hym use d word TRY!!..shesh...niwae...it been beter juz dat ma tyme spent iwf hym is soo daymn shity limited...haiz....god...dis is tough...d ting which make sit toughe rdat i feel dat dis relation shyp is styll lyke d relationshyp wif ruzaioni...d neglectyng atitude,d cant send home atiotude and d fuckup atitude....haiz gotta work on it...niwae ...i nee dto go out and see yu soon ayte...
"i noe yu hate dat im in lurve coz it makes d feeling worsen wen i took a while to get over d hurt....yu sure messed up wif d tot yu tink dat dis was juz another break between each other but sadlie...i found sumone new..d tyngs i haf for yu faded wen yu clearly shown no lurve for me..it was juz yu yu and yur dreams...yu had sum1 for yu 24hrs but yu knew i was againt yur idea of spendyn too many tyme wif silat and dikir...but wad did yu do...yu heed advice form her and yu listen her instead..i knew der waz notin between us wen yu strt orderyn me to bury drinks for yu at starbucks and wen i ask yu to buy for me yu said no!!wen she ask yu to help...yu jolly well served her wif a smile..well now its clearly seen dat yu were juz ma past and im juz yur past..yu showed me wif yu r pride and egoistical ways and atitude on d day we painted ma shoe far away from doone we lurved..each other..now i found sum1 new and ma lyfe will go on but i dun expect yu to be alone...but i styll hate yu for tellyn me dat yu were like dis gerl and dis gerl lyke yu but im stoppin yu to go wif her...duyde..i didnt tell yu dat im goin out iwf iswandi..i didnt tell yu i waz already wif hym i dint tell yu dat iswanduis betetr den yu...y mus yu tell me dat...now yu told em it didnt happen and jolly well ask me to bryng iswandi along to yur fite...i noe yu wanna show of...i noe yur styll sour but ims our over y mus yu say about d gerl...i noe its a lie...its a lie.."